(What Felt Like) 127 Hours

If I could I would like to smite Jason's Deli for poisoning half of a turkey sandwich. And if it was not them, then smite the one who improperly preserved it before giving it to my mom for safe-keeping. I have the power of Thor, apparently, so I can do that sort of thing.

Yes, you have heard right. Apparently having food poisoning makes me Thor. Let me explain.

Saturday night I ate the second half of a turkey sandwich from Jason's Deli. Soon after, I started feeling nauseous. Skipping over the gross stuff, I'm spending the night in the bathroom. Going in and out of consciousness on a cold floor with a blanket that refuses to completely cover you while trying to find a comfortable spot for my stomach leads to some... weird events. I'm not sure if they're lucid dream related or from my body just saying "fuck it, let's have some delusions" but I imagined myself as the god Thor, and there were my worshipers living in the bathroom with me. They were small, so it was kind of like Gulliver's Travels, but they worshiped me as the Odinson. I would then fall asleep (maybe? There were moments of blackness or segments that I can't remember. It was a long night) and would lead them through another segment of their existence. Yes, I led them from their creation, until Ragnarok, and even a bit after then. Granted, this was a bit more like Odin, but this was also some sort of delusion, so logic doesn't exactly matter here. Besides, Odin would totally be chilling with me from time to time.

I don't want to say that I could actually see Odin (or my worshipers for that matter), but I knew they were there and what they looked like. Sort of like in a dream when you imagine someone is with you, and then you wake up but they aren't. Well, when I would wake up, for just a moment a shadow of these characters would linger and then (literally) fade away. Halfway through I finally recognized that this was a delusion and that I should stop, but then it felt like I was abandoning my people. Regardless, I did so, and yet, when I would awaken later, there I was as Thor again. I even warned my people that Ragnarok was coming, the moment that I would stop recognizing my authority. Then, in my sleep, Ragnarok came. When I awoke, no delusion. Back to sleep, awake once more, and there were two people left to worship me, two survivors of Ragnarok. Which is exactly what happens in the Norse myth.

When I slept and awoke once more, there was no more Thor hallucinations. It was on the older side of 3:30 in the morning, I was wide awake, feeling better than I had all night. I read "King Lear" thanks to my Shakespeare App (shameless plug) until 4 and then finally went back to sleep. I woke up once more at the later half of 7 am, feeling so much better than I had been. Granted, this was still worse than how my normal self feels, but at least it wasn't pure "put me out of this and kill me now" misery.

And so here I am, trying to shake off the last dregs of the food poisoning. I have to say it was a nice little vacation away from my laptop, but I'm back now. Still not in fighting shape, but a hell of a lot better than I had been.

I should add that those hallucinations would occur for maybe two minutes (in lucid dream/sickness time) before I could recognize reality, so I wasn't in a constant state of thunder-godding.