Recursive

So I'm starting to worry I have ADD. Or ADHD. Whatever. Every time I mean to start studying, I can barely focus for 10 seconds before I switch to Twitter/Facebook/IGN/whatever. I didn't use to be like this. I used to be able to study for at least an hour without switching to some other activity. I'm tense and more prone to procrastination than ever before. I think it's starting to affect my grades.
Just this morning, I decided to get in two hours of solid studying before my Medieval Euro test. I had been set to study last night, just after Dexter, but decided to procrastinate because I was tired. Before that, I had been meaning to study in the afternoon, but held off because something interesting was on television, or I just didn't feel like doing it.
So I have my notes all out in front of me and I'm beginning to study, when I have this urge to go on Twitter. I do, just to appease myself briefly, then plan on studying the rest of the time. I read a page of notes, then go to Facebook. A bullet, IGN. It goes on and on, with time growing on the Internet, and shorter time focusing on my studies. I take my test without having read all of my notes/scanning the readings, and get an 82. At first, I'm thrilled! I got a B! But then I realize that I got a B in a history class. This should've been easy, a guaranteed A.
I check my grade on the essay we had to write. I got a 79. On an essay. I'm usually great at essays! What is wrong with me?
I think it has to do with stress. I have to push myself to get amazing grades so that I can get into grad school, and the stress from that makes me want to avoid it and focus on leisurely things. But if I do that, I won't get good grades, and the only way to get good grades is too study, but I don't want to study, because it's too stressful, and so on and so on.
I'm trapped in this recursive predicament, and I don't know what to do.

All the leaves are brown....

Well, almost.

So I decided to give the blog a fresh coat of paint for the fall. I know I'm jumping the gun, but I have a lot of things to look forward to coming up in the fall, so I just want to let some excitement out.

Also, I realize how sad it is that I'm excited about a small blog redesign. Don't present it to me.

So Begins the Second Decade....

So I am now twenty years old. I have to say, it feels great to be finally out of my teens. It feels like I've met a goal, even though I've just remembered to breathe and eat since 1990. I feel much more adult and mature now, like I could take on the world. I didn't really expect to feel this way. I expected to feel more nostalgic and old, like I did when I turned 18, but, instead I feel very alive. If you will forgive the cliche, look out world, because I'm coming!