My body is an asshole

6:40:
Body: Hey, you're up 5 minutes before the alarm! Now you don't have to hear the beeping.
Me: Oh wow, thanks! That's convenient.
Body: *Stomach cramp* GO EAT.

11:30
Body: Hi, me again. EAT FOOD.

1:00
Body: I know you just had a soda but gosh you're tired.

2:00:
Body: I know you just had coffee but gosh you're tired. How about I make you feel like you got 1 hour of sleep?
Me: What? No BLERGH ZZZ.

3:00:
Body: You need to pee so badly! Too bad you'll be in class!

5:30:
Body: Welcome home EAT FOOD.

6:30:
Body: STOP EATING OR YOU'LL EXPLODE.

7:20: EAT FOOD.

10:00:
Body: Hey I'm gonna make you sleep now.
Me: Huh what no do-- zzzzz.

11:00
Body: Hey, what year is this?
Me: Ugh. *Stands*
Body: Charlie horse!
Me: AH!
Body: Don't fuck with me.