So I am about to declare something I will more than likely regret. After being inspired by Jessica's blog, and another friend of mine who probably wants to remain anonymous, I have decided to start blogging once a day for a year. Yes, 365 blog postings. It will be difficult, and I will most likely fail. But I'm going to try to do it.
I'm not sure why I want to do this. Probably the challenge, though God knows I have enough writing challenges to deal with right now. Maybe because I want to keep an actual journal for once. I think it's healthy to write down how I feel, even if it's just one word or a YouTube video.
So stay tuned, Reader. Starting March 1st, the Year of Blogging commences.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Precipice
So I return to FGCU tomorrow. I can't say it's something I'm seriously looking forward to. Christmas Break has been amazing, and I will miss it dearly. I haven't been this relaxed in ages. As the sun ticks lower over the horizon, I think about what the week will bring. For you see, the first week is the hump of the unknown. Once I pass it, the first week of May will be here before I know it. The classes I have picked are all interesting, the time between classes I have friends to be with, and I still have Friday off. Do I think the semester will be just as difficult as the last? I hope not. All I have to do is make it through this semester, and try to enjoy all the time I have within it.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Another Year Gone
New Year's has always depressed me. I've theorized it had to do with the end of the holiday season which I love so much, the return to school, or just the end of another part of my life. There's something about this year, however, that just depresses the hell out of me. 2011. It just sounds shitty. 2009 was a terrible, awful year, that tore me apart. 2010 rebuilt me, then tore me down again, and now, slowly, I'm being rebuilt. I don't think I can take another breakdown. When I hear all of the optimism about the new year, I think, "that's what you want, but it's not what you're going to get." Resolutions are like miracles. There's few, and they're small, and not everybody believes in them. I have my own resolutions for the year, but I don't know if they're going to work out. I will try, but I don't know if it will take.
Tomorrow, we begin the new year. When we started 2010, I thought it would be fantastic, a fresh start for a new decade. Reality does not think so, and will beat your ass for it. So, as we start 2011, I go forward with a sense of cautious optimism. I met many good people in 2010, I hope to meet more. I hope to do the things that I want, to enjoy the things that I have, to appreciate the ones I know. The future is uncertain and terrifying, but I hope that I will persevere. I hope that this year I won't be torn down, and I hope that I will love this year completely.
Tomorrow, we begin the new year. When we started 2010, I thought it would be fantastic, a fresh start for a new decade. Reality does not think so, and will beat your ass for it. So, as we start 2011, I go forward with a sense of cautious optimism. I met many good people in 2010, I hope to meet more. I hope to do the things that I want, to enjoy the things that I have, to appreciate the ones I know. The future is uncertain and terrifying, but I hope that I will persevere. I hope that this year I won't be torn down, and I hope that I will love this year completely.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The Dog Days Are Over!
So I just finished my fall semester at FGCU! Thank God, the semester was horrible. Seriously, the schedule was terrible having so many huge things due within days of each other! And then the teachers, holy shit, I've never had so many bad ones. Assholes. Plus the classes were pretty dull.
The students were all good people though, and I made some more friends than I assumed I would at the start. It's amazing how well people bond when dealing with incompetence.
Speaking of incompetence, group projects in college are evil. In high school you see your partners everyday. In college, you can lose contact with a partner and then everybody is screwed. I'm just glad those projects are done. The air seems fresher, the food tastes better. I've had this monkey of projects on my back since mid-October. Finally, I can breath again.
As I was driving into my neighborhood after finishing my Experimental Psych nonsense, the last end-of-semester stuff I'd have to go to campus for, "Dog Days are Over" started playing on my Sirius. Sometimes, life's little things like that can make everything better.
The students were all good people though, and I made some more friends than I assumed I would at the start. It's amazing how well people bond when dealing with incompetence.
Speaking of incompetence, group projects in college are evil. In high school you see your partners everyday. In college, you can lose contact with a partner and then everybody is screwed. I'm just glad those projects are done. The air seems fresher, the food tastes better. I've had this monkey of projects on my back since mid-October. Finally, I can breath again.
As I was driving into my neighborhood after finishing my Experimental Psych nonsense, the last end-of-semester stuff I'd have to go to campus for, "Dog Days are Over" started playing on my Sirius. Sometimes, life's little things like that can make everything better.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Remember This
So I saw someone be cynical about Christmas recently and figured, as we move into the stress-induced mania that is finals week, I should go ahead and post this, as I did when I first began this blog.
Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not because it gets colder and we get presents, but because people let themselves relax and enjoy life and the people dear to them. It's the one time when we can forget our worries and take a moment to reflect on what we have, what we're thankful for, and what really matters. So here, I post an excerpt from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" that I feel perfectly sums up how I feel about this special holiday.
"But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it comes round-apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that-as a good time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say God bless it!"
-"A Christmas Carol"
Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not because it gets colder and we get presents, but because people let themselves relax and enjoy life and the people dear to them. It's the one time when we can forget our worries and take a moment to reflect on what we have, what we're thankful for, and what really matters. So here, I post an excerpt from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" that I feel perfectly sums up how I feel about this special holiday.
"But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it comes round-apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that-as a good time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say God bless it!"
-"A Christmas Carol"
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Survey Questions
Here's a very, very quick and easy survey that I need for one of my classes. It's extremely important, so I would very much appreciate it if you could take it.
What is your gender?
1 = Male
2 = Female
3 = Other/Prefer not to say
What is your age?
1 = 18-24
2 = 25-34
3 = 35+
A number of statements that people have used to describe themselves are given below. Read the statements below and indicate how you generally feel by placing the appropriate number next to each item.
1 = Almost Never
2 = Sometimes
3 = Often
4 = Almost Always
1. I have a fiery temper.
2. I fly off the handle.
3. I am a hotheaded person.
4. I feel irritated.
5. I feel angry.
Using the 5 point scale shown below, indicate how uncharacteristic or characteristic each of the following statements is in describing you after playing a violent video game, such as Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, or Grand Theft Auto IV. Place your rating in the box to the right of the statement.
1 = extremely uncharacteristic of me
2 = somewhat uncharacteristic of me
3 = neither uncharacteristic nor characteristic of me
4 = somewhat characteristic of me
5 = extremely characteristic of me
1. I flare up quickly but I get over it quickly.
2. I find myself disagreeing with people.
3. When frustrated, I let my irritation show.
4. I find myself more prone to using swear words.
5. I have trouble controlling my temper.
Using the 5 point scale shown below, indicate how uncharacteristic or characteristic each of the following statements is in describing you after playing a nonviolent video game, such as Wii Sports, The Sims, or Rock Band. Place your rating in the box to the right of the statement.
1 = extremely uncharacteristic of me
2 = somewhat uncharacteristic of me
3 = neither uncharacteristic nor characteristic of me
4 = somewhat characteristic of me
5 = extremely characteristic of me
1. I flare up quickly but I get over it quickly.
2. I find myself disagreeing with people.
3. When frustrated, I let my irritation show.
4. I find myself more prone to using swear words.
5. I have trouble controlling my temper.
What is your gender?
1 = Male
2 = Female
3 = Other/Prefer not to say
What is your age?
1 = 18-24
2 = 25-34
3 = 35+
A number of statements that people have used to describe themselves are given below. Read the statements below and indicate how you generally feel by placing the appropriate number next to each item.
1 = Almost Never
2 = Sometimes
3 = Often
4 = Almost Always
1. I have a fiery temper.
2. I fly off the handle.
3. I am a hotheaded person.
4. I feel irritated.
5. I feel angry.
Using the 5 point scale shown below, indicate how uncharacteristic or characteristic each of the following statements is in describing you after playing a violent video game, such as Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, or Grand Theft Auto IV. Place your rating in the box to the right of the statement.
1 = extremely uncharacteristic of me
2 = somewhat uncharacteristic of me
3 = neither uncharacteristic nor characteristic of me
4 = somewhat characteristic of me
5 = extremely characteristic of me
1. I flare up quickly but I get over it quickly.
2. I find myself disagreeing with people.
3. When frustrated, I let my irritation show.
4. I find myself more prone to using swear words.
5. I have trouble controlling my temper.
Using the 5 point scale shown below, indicate how uncharacteristic or characteristic each of the following statements is in describing you after playing a nonviolent video game, such as Wii Sports, The Sims, or Rock Band. Place your rating in the box to the right of the statement.
1 = extremely uncharacteristic of me
2 = somewhat uncharacteristic of me
3 = neither uncharacteristic nor characteristic of me
4 = somewhat characteristic of me
5 = extremely characteristic of me
1. I flare up quickly but I get over it quickly.
2. I find myself disagreeing with people.
3. When frustrated, I let my irritation show.
4. I find myself more prone to using swear words.
5. I have trouble controlling my temper.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I Think I'm Losing My Mind
So I am stressed. I haven't felt this level of stress since I took yearbook back at Verot. I have four projects due out of five of my classes. In two projects I'm the group leader, while the other two are solo. The first, an adaptation of a play we read in Intro to Theatre, is due Friday. I'm adapting "Antigone" to take place in Medieval France. I'm not very worried about this, mostly because it's a creative project and I love those, but it's not helping that it takes place when I need to find sources for my stats project. Plus, I have to assign roles in my Human Systems project, which is due on the last Monday before Thanksgiving break. One of my partners here hasn't shown up in two weeks. Right around that time my Experimental Psych project is due, which is the biggest issue. We have to arrange to borrow a room at FGCU, then we have to get, like, fourteen people to come in on a Friday to take part. Then we have to write a paper on it, plus create a poster board. Oh, and because one of my partners here has to go to New York for a family reunion, we have to present a week early.
Additionally, I'm paranoid about something FGCU-related that could totally screw me over. It's not something I wish to talk about, but I had to say it. The paranoia is eating me up inside. It's like at any moment everything could be ruined, and I would have no control over it. I feel helpless, terrified of the potential outcome. I've actually paced the room a few times. I can't stand it. I want the issue resolved, I want to stop worrying about it.
It had to be said.
Additionally, I'm paranoid about something FGCU-related that could totally screw me over. It's not something I wish to talk about, but I had to say it. The paranoia is eating me up inside. It's like at any moment everything could be ruined, and I would have no control over it. I feel helpless, terrified of the potential outcome. I've actually paced the room a few times. I can't stand it. I want the issue resolved, I want to stop worrying about it.
It had to be said.
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